Damaged: An Erotic Romance Story Read online

  “Hey Nathan? It’s Jess. From earlier.” She added, somewhat un-necessarily. The sound of his voice down the phone actually flipped her stomach, a thrilling sensation she had long forgotten.

  “Hi Jess!” The delight in his voice made her smile. “I didn’t think I’d be hearing from you to be honest. How are you?”

  “I’m ok.” She decided to get straight to the point.

  “Listen, I was wondering if I could come over again tonight?” She screwed her face up at how forward she sounded, but she was desperate to feel that pleasure again. That freedom. She heard Nathan’s deep chuckle. He clearly understood what she was after and she could imagine his shy, awkward stance as he thought of a reply.

  “Sure! But, can I take you out first?” Jess rolled her eyes. She wanted a simple booty call; easy, temporary happiness. Her hesitation was clearly obvious to him and he quickly backtracked.

  “Okay, okay. I get it.” Nathan tried to sound unaffected. “Come over when you like, I’ll be here all night.”

  Jessica hung up and went to turn on the shower, trying to ignore the bubbles of excitement in her belly.

  Arriving at the hotel; Jessica could already feel herself starting to get wet at the anticipation of what lay ahead. Nathan opened his door in different clothes than earlier. He looked even more attractive in jeans with bare feet, and the khaki t-shirt made the color of his eyes zing, causing Jess to take a sharp intake of breath.

  Her automatic response was to begin apologising for the obvious reason for her call; her visit. But she stopped herself, refusing to feel sorry for trying to add good feeling to her life.

  Nathan looked as uncomfortable as ever, and Jess pondered how many women he’d had before her. He was certainly different to the self-assured men she had come across before. He waggled a bottle of wine at her.

  “I get that you don’t want to date, or get to know me.” He said this more casually than she knew he felt. “But I figured we could least have a drink? A little small talk?” He lifted his shoulders as if to say ‘I’m trying.’ and Jess defrosted slightly.

  “Okay. One drink.” She agreed, pleased at the reaction this got from the tough-looking soft guy. He poured the drink into two plastic cups gleaned from the bathroom and Jess sat on the end of the bed. He passed her the drink and perched next to her, leaning slightly to chink her cup.

  “Cheers.” He smiled, displaying gloriously shaped teeth. “Sorry about the plastic. This isn’t the greatest hotel in the world – no bar to steal glasses from.”

  “Don’t worry.” Jess said graciously, suddenly feeling self-conscious and nervous about what questions he would ask her.

  “I hope you don’t mind me saying; you seem very closed. I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t want to talk before.”

  “My story is sad, Nathan. I don’t want to come across as rude, but I’ve no wish to add people to my life right now. Tell me about yourself instead.” Jess sipped her warm wine and hoped he’d accept the change of subject.

  Nathan shrugged and mirrored Jessica’s position, placing their heads close together. “Not much to tell really. I’m been away travelling for years. Australia, New Zealand, Dubai. Picked up work where I could, met some amazing people, saw some amazing things. I had to get out after me and my girlfriend split. We had been together since High School and my heart was broken.” Nathan stared down at the floor, seeming upset. Shaking himself, he looked deep into Jess’s eyes, turning her legs to jelly.

  “It appears we both have sad stories.” He lifted his finger and gently traced along her jaw down to her chin, which he held gently in his fingers. Pulling her lips to his, he delicately kissed her, soft as a butterfly.

  “Does that hurt?” He referenced the cut on her bottom lip. Jessica shook her head once, the surge of passion rendering her almost speechless.

  “No.” She whispered. Nathan leaned in and kissed her again, darting his tongue teasingly inside her slightly open mouth.

  Jess could not bear the tenderness. The way he made her feel out of control. So she stood and plucked the drink from his hand, placing it out of the way before pushing him onto his back and climbing sexily on top of him. She could see his hard-on already and she ran her palm along the bulge. Shuffling back slightly, she pulled at his jeans popping the buttons easily this time, and slid them off down his legs. She surveyed the half naked man lying in front of her: Penis fully erect and bottom lip between his teeth, and felt powerful and extremely horny.

  With the edge of her nail, she lightly scratched up the inside of his thigh and felt herself slippery at the sight of his twitching, expectant cock. Looking confidently into his lustful eyes, she dipped her head and circled the tip of his manhood with her moist tongue. Nathan let out a shaky breath as she gripped the base firmly in her hand and hungrily put the rest of the length in her warm mouth, moving it up and down slowly. It turned her on to watch his reaction: he thrust his pelvis and began to pant until Jess could take no more – she needed to be touched, her clit was throbbing so hard it hurt.

  Wriggling off of the bed, she tore her clothes off as he looked on, drinking in her body as if paralysed by passion. Jess straddled him and hovered with his rock hard dick just touching the entrance to her excited pussy. They stared at each other, both gasping hard with expectation. Then, Nathan flipped her over and separated her knees with large hands. Jess gasped as he kissed down her stomach and across her hip-bone, expelling a desperate moan as she felt his hot tongue flick her engorged clitoris. He made hard circular movements on her button and pressed his finger just inside her, then pulled it back and circled the hole, dipping his finger in a little further the next time. Jess grabbed his hair and moaned loudly, feeling her juices start to run down her leg. Half-wild with desire, she writhed beneath him and pushed down hard when his finger slid back inside her warmth.

  “Oh God, oh God, oh God.” She cried, unable to keep it in. Nathan increased the intensity and hot ripples of fire drowned her, as her muscles spasmed and tensed with the electric release of her orgasm. She pushed at his shoulders, the nerve endings too raw; the pleasure too much.

  Nathans eyes were half closed as if dazzled by the want inside of him. He cupped her breast in his hand and thumbed her pert nipple. She jerked - every touch another rush of pleasure. He plunged his full length into her with a guttural moan. Barely finishing her last orgasm, she felt the pulses of another building, her head swimming with the over-whelming sensation. He pounded into her, filling her up. She felt the first pump of his come deep within and the two of them shook together as they gave in to their simultaneous climax.

  Panting in silence for a while, Nathan eventually spun Jess over so that they were both lying on their sides. She buried her face in his shoulder, wanting to hold on to the glow and relishing the closeness. She knew reality would descend as her heart rate slowed, and she did not want to greet it.

  “So...I’m probably here for another week.” Nathan grinned, “do you reckon we could do this a few more times before I leave?” He stammered, unsure of himself now.

  Jess’ wall immediately rose up, but further consideration smashed holes through it. ‘This could be perfect,’ she mused. ‘A stranger in town, gone within a week. No-one has to know and I get some form of comfort for a while.’ She playfully slapped Nathan’s chest.

  “Don’t look so worried, travelling boy.” She said, making fun of his pensive features. “Yes. Okay. We can do it again. Just sex though. I can’t handle any type of attachment or feelings” Jess spat the word distastefully. “I don’t care if you think I’m fucked up. I’ve had an awful year and I need to make things easier for myself, not harder. So, sex for the week, then strangers forever. Deal?”

  Nathan’s dark eyebrows rose at her blunt reply, but he was starting to feel less surprised by the matter-of-fact attitude this enigmatic woman projected.

  “Yes.” He nodded, somewhat over enthusiastically. “Yes, deal. I have some people to visit and a friend to catch up with, but other
than that I’ll be free most evenings. How about you just call me when you want to come over? I’m assuming I won’t be permitted to come to your place?” He half joked.

  “You presume correct, Mister.” Jess started to trace the lines of his intricate tattoo with her fingertip. It was an artistic vine: thick, shaded branches sprouting spiky leaves travelled across his shoulder and up to his neck. Down his arm, the vine became thornier and a beautiful vampire hid in the shadows beyond it. Catching herself, she jumped away from him as if stung. She had made the terms herself; being fascinated and interested in this guy’s body art definitely counted as the beginnings of attachment in her mind.

  Dressing quickly, she made a hasty goodbye and travelled back to her empty apartment where, for the first time in months, she fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

  Stretching her arms into the beam of sunlight shining through her window, Jess felt relaxed and well rested for once. A knot of anxiety and that pesky guilt still sat in the pit of her gut, but it was only there if she focused on it, so she got up to busy herself.

  The phone ringing provided the perfect distraction, and she answered it without registering the name on the display.

  “Jess?” A weak voice filtered through the earpiece.

  “Yes, I’m here. Hi Jackie.” Jessica winced and rubbed her face. Mike’s Mom. That was all she needed. The knot started to expand, freezing her belly to ice. She loved Jackie to bits and they had both been a great support to each other after Mike’s death, but today she had been enjoying the first glimmer of hope that life may not always feel so difficult after losing someone.

  “Oh Jess. I’m glad I caught you. I’m not able to visit Mike’s grave this afternoon, I wondered if you were planning on going?” Jackie went to her son’s grave twice a day. Personally, Jessica thought this was a little over the top. As far as she was concerned, Mike was not there; he was not anywhere any longer. But his Mom had a strong faith, and she respected that. When someone you love dies, you do whatever you need to do to ease the constant ache from the grief.

  ‘Including sex with strange men.’ She thought wryly.

  “Yes, yes of course I will. Are you alright?” Jess asked, concerned that Jackie was missing her visit for a darker reason suddenly.

  “Of course, dear.” Came the reply. “I just have someone coming over. I’ll go and see him this evening obviously, but I don’t like him to be alone all day.” Jackie sounded distant and vague, as she had done ever since the death of her only boy. The once strong and vicarious woman had become unsure and meek. Jess felt the choking hand of sorrow squeeze around her throat. It was a familiar sensation of late.

  “Will you come over for dinner tomorrow?” Jackie’s voice was tinged with pleading.

  “Sure. I’ll be over around 5. Will Joe be there?” Joe was Jackie’s husband of what seemed like a hundred years. They were a solid, loving couple and had remained so despite the tragedy that befell them earlier in the year. If ever there were to be a poster campaign for marriage, it would feature Jackie and Joe.

  “If I can drag him away from the shed, yes. He’ll be delighted to see you, love.” A shroud of bleakness wrapped around Jessica, suffocating her. Sometimes, it was harder when people said nice things. She hurried to get off of the phone and slid down the wall, cradling her knees in her arms. She remained there for a couple of minutes, fighting off the painful thoughts; Nathan now a long way from her mind. It dawned on her that her car was still with the mechanic and she decided to walk the short distance to Sophie’s to borrow hers. The walk and the company would make her feel better.

  “Hey, hey, hey!” Sophie’s loud, boisterous housemate enveloped Jess in a perfumed clouded hug. “How you doin’ gorgeous girl?”

  “I’m good Katie, thanks.” Jess replied, escaping from the bouncing girls vice-like hold. “Where’s Soph?”

  “Oh, in her room.” Katie rolled her eyes. “She’s got a date tonight and has shown me like, fifty different outfits so far. Thank God you’re here.”

  At that moment, Sophie came shuffling out of her bedroom in a pencil skirt and blouse, arms full of clothes. “I think I’ve narrowed it down to five...Jess!” She exclaimed, dropping the clothes and waddling toward her friend to embrace her.

  “How come you didn’t tell me you had a date tonight, Soph? That’s great news.”

  Sophie raised her shoulders in an uncomfortable shrug. “I thought...I thought it might be hard for you.” She held out her hand to Jess “I didn’t want to shove it in your face, y’know?”

  Jessica shook her head at her friend. “You don’t always have to be on eggshells around me, Sophie. I know life goes on. I’m thrilled you’ve met a guy.”

  Pleased to have someone else in the spotlight for a change, Jessica sat down on the sofa ready to glean details. “So tell me about him! What does he look like? Where did you meet?”

  “S’cuse me for being rude.” Katie swept in and air kissed Jess on both cheeks before blowing Sophie one. “No offence, but I’ve heard this story like, a million times. I’m off shopping.” Trailing that powerful scent in her wake, Katie bounded out of the door. Jessica gestured for her friend to start talking. With a sparkle on her face that only the first, heady moments of lust could create, Sophie began filling her in.

  “His name’s James, he’s our age. Tall and blonde, with the most incredible blue eyes. I see him in the coffee shop across the road from work all the time, but last week, he just walked up to me and asked me out, just like that! It was like something out of a movie. I didn’t think hot guys did that in real life.” Her face flushed; excited at re-telling the tale. Jess found herself smiling along, quite genuinely.

  “He sounds perfect. Now, what are you going to wear? Because this,” Jess tugged at her friend’s pencil skirt, “is NOT suitable. You can barely walk in it. C’mon, show me the other options.”

  As the morning passed with the two girls laughing and gossiping, Jessica could feel chinks of her old self waking up from the gloomy, apathetic cave it had been hibernating in. They had picked Sophie’s date outfit and were now both sat, cross legged on the couch, surrounded by a sea of discarded clothing. The contented atmosphere and rediscovered closeness she felt towards her best friend gave Jess a surge of confidence as she blurted out:

  “I slept with someone. Twice.”

  Sophie’s mouth dropped as she processed the disclosure. She opened and closed it a few times before stammering. “Wha...how? When?”

  As Jessica explained the events of the past day and how much she had enjoyed them, she suddenly worried about being judged. Admonished for her behaviour. Told off for being reckless and disrespectful. But Sophie did none of those things. Instead, she walked over and knelt down, wrapping both her arms around Jess’ shoulders.

  “Honey, I’m so proud of you for starting to move on. It’s a big step and it’s not about forgetting Mike, it’s about remembering him but living your life. Having fun. You deserve it.”

  “Don’t you think it’s too soon?” Jess wanted an honest answer.

  “If you were ready then it’s not too soon. There’s no time limit, it’s about how you feel.” Sophie grinned at her. “So we might both be getting some tonight, eh?!”

  Jess laughed with relief and shoved her friend backwards.

  The drive to the cemetery was more light-hearted than it ever had been before, Jessica even found herself humming along to a song on the radio. She felt as though she had a future again. Hope was an amazing beacon after so much darkness.

  The view from the car park made her mood a little more water-colored however. Row upon row of headstones, some crumbling and forgotten, some reflecting pinpricks of blinding sunshine off of polished marble. Every one of them once a loved one. Someone’s husband, daughter, friend.

  Jess sighed as she got out of the car. Ashamed at herself for wishing she didn’t have to do this today. Her footsteps became leaden as she made her way to Mike’s grave. She didn’t need to look up to see wher
e she was going; she had walked this gloomy path a thousand times. In the beginning, she would come with Jackie, the two of them physically holding each other up as their grief collapsed their knees. But as time went by, Jess began to realise that Mike wasn’t at the cemetery. He was in her head; in her heart, and therefore she could mourn him in the privacy of her own home. So she’d stopped going as much.

  They had got together a couple of years after college, the two of them exploring the world of adulthood and winding up bumping into each other in a bar one night. Jess had spilt an entire beer down the front of Mike’s shirt and a year and a half later, they were living together and totally in love.

  As Jess approached the grave, she was startled to see a man right beside it, sat on the grass holding his head in his hands. She knew all of Mike’s friends and family and didn’t recognise the hunched shape of this person – yet something about him seemed familiar. Not wishing to intrude but needing to sate her curiosity, she took a few quiet steps forward, squinting so she could get a better view. Just as realization hit her like a truck, the man looked right at her.

  “Jessica?”

  “Nathan?” She questioned, confused. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  Nathan stood and brushed the back of his pants down. Red tinges around the rims of his eyes suggested he had been crying. He sniffed and wiped his cheeks roughly with the back of his hand before replying.

  “This is the old friend I came here to visit.” He moved his arm limply in the direction of Mike’s headstone. “He died in a car crash at the beginning of the year. I was away when they held his funeral so wanted to pay my respects now. I didn’t want to tell you, you said you’d had enough sadness.”

  Jess was a stone statue, speechless and cold despite the warm weather. Nathan – the gorgeous, anonymous man she had been having sex with, used to be a friend of her dead boyfriend. Jess felt sick. A barrage of emotion slammed her: guilt, disloyalty and shame churned together.